A Confliction of Ethics, Emotion and Guts

I have loud neighbors. They have been loud for a while. I have never seen these neighbors, but I know a lot about them. I know they're nice enough to lend duct tape, no questions asked. I know they have a rocking sound system that can pump bass like a tricked out thug car. I know someone over there really likes their first-person shooters. I know that he can yell loud enough to be heard anywhere in my apartment. I know that sometimes she cries. They remind me of a song.

That song. It is a song I have taken to heart on more occasions than just about anyone knows. I cannot help but think that I should do something, if just to find out why he yells and she cries at three am. I hear one thing clearly from him, anger. One thing from her, apology. I don't know their circumstances, I don't know their names, I don't know their faces, but I hear things through the walls that make me want to be a better person than I am. I just don't know if I can. I don't know if it's right that I poke my nose in. Sometimes people just argue...
I don't know if it's the question or the answer that bothers me more...

Is It Insomnia if You Took A Nap?

So, as it may have been guessed, I am a little bit stressed out right now. But things are solving themselves (as things often do when you don't prod them too much) and I should be calming down. I feel a bit like an avalanche has fallen on me and I escaped with only a bruised ego and dinged pride.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. On my head. Possibly giving me a concussion or amnesia or further brain damage. I suspect it will be a steel-toed boot. Size 23, men's, wide.

I'm starting to think, though, that the other shoe is simply my own neuroses killing me slowly. Jumping at every sound, having a mild panic attack every time the phone rings. Unable to sleep in bed, instead passing out on the couch, JUST IN CASE. And then, only during the day, because I feel guilty if I leave her alone in bed.

So I stay up all night fretting by the computer, accomplishing... well, actually quite a lot in an effort to distract myself. And then sleeping the afternoon away, because there are people around so I know it's safe.

We will be gone by the end of the month, but I have to wonder if this will stick with me even when I don't have to be on alert every moment.